East of Eden

There is beauty all around.
It is in the sky, the swaying of the trees, the formation of clouds above our heads.
It is in the sweeping lines of architecture, silhouette of buildings rising above city lights, the movement of the city, traffic flowing between pillars of concrete and glass.

It is so important that we see the beauty around us, and appreciate it. I received a phone call last night from my fiance. I was driving home from work in downtown LA. I had put in eight hours that day, twelve the day before, and was stuck in traffic. I was exhausted. The sun was setting and it began to drizzle. He thanked me, for dealing with the things I have been dealing with lately with a smile. For continuing to care for him during an illness while I was tired and emotionally drained. The beauty of it was that, while I so appreciated his call and the fact that he noticed, I didn't need to hear it. I wouldn't have done things any differently.

I hope that I am not simply repressing my feelings right now. I had a good long cry Saturday, the kind that gives you a headache that no amount of Aleve can take away for the remainder of the day. Now I'm happy, suspiciously so. I probably shouldn't be. Despite my best intentions to "choose each day" to be happy, to make happiness a choice, no matter what the circumstance, I am surprised at how easy I am finding it today.