There's no crying in baseball!!

That was a League of Their Own reference for Krysta, but I thought it was appropriate for someone who is (in)appropriately crying right now. It's me, in case you didn't notice that already. In my frustration and sadness, through my inability to communicate the words I fear so greatly, I sit alone in my office crying into a tissue and hoping no one walks by. Am I more of a coward because I cannot talk about this? I always cry, and I hate it. It is my response to anything, happy or sad, and I get so upset with myself for succumbing to tears that I then cry even harder. I feel right now like breaking down and getting it over wtih would be more prudent, more healing, but I cannot.

All I can say is this: I hate you, cancer.