Bliss and Engagement Rings

There are times when I think I am a selfish person. I know that jealousy is "normal," natural even, but I don't want to be a jealous person. I want to be truly happy for those in my life. Sometimes I worry that I am not capable of this.

I am not worried today.

On Friday, in the midst of a terrible day at work, I received some news that has made me incredibly happy. My good friend Krysta let me know that she was engaged. I felt the bliss--true, pure, unselfish bliss--of happiness for her. I am ecstatic. I can't wait to talk to her about it. I've also been reflecting on my engagement, and what a beautiful time it was.

When my husband proposed, I was stunned, shocked, and on cloud nine. The weeks following were some of the most blissful I can remember. I played a Vanessa Carlton song with the lyrics "love is dancing on my finger" and watched the diamond sparkle on my left hand. It was stunning. I remember the disbelief of the moment--that fated, overdone-in-movies moment was happening in my life. My husband was nervous and my incessant "is this really happening? I can't believe it" was not helping. The ring box (oh! there was a ring and everything!) was shiny mahogany, with black velvet inside, and the ring was this incredible jewel. He placed it on my trembling finger with clammy hands and I realized the importance of this symbol. The diamond, shiny and beautiful like our love, was the outward manifestation of our relationship. The strongest natural compound on a band of precious metal that would wear and attain a patina revealing its age and the age of our relationship. it would shout to the world, "I am taken, I am loved."

For weeks, as I caught a glimpse of the sparkle on my left hand, or found it caught in my hair (I've never been happier to have something caught in my hair) or saw someones eyes transfixed on it as they noticed it for the first time, I would overflow with joy. Before the madness of wedding planning, the first weeks of engagement are pure bliss.

Krysta, I am overjoyed for you. My happiness for you knows no bounds. I intend on helping and supporting you through the journey that is to come, but for now...just enjoy this moment. Enjoy every blissful moment.

One final thought: I am not a person who ever defines a moment in her life as "the best"--because I don't know what is to come. I always live as though the best is yet to come, whether or not I know what that is. As amazing as the beginning of the engagement is, have heart that a better moment is to come...the day you see a ring on your partner's hand. The joy you feel witnessing a ring on your own is momentous, but seeing a ring on his...I've never felt anything like it.