The truth in dreams

I have remembered many dreams lately. I do not usually. Perhaps this means that I am simply not sleeping well, perhaps something in my subconscious is trying to get my attention. Early Saturday morning I had a dream that my baby brother had died. I was hysterical, stammering on about his potential, the person that we knew he would become, and the fact that he never got there. I was full of the most excruciating pain. My brother and I are not very close, and I go back and forth between trying to have a relationship with him and then pulling away with the realization that I will get hurt again, or the fear that I am enabling his behavior. My brother is not an addict--which I feel I must say lest the "enabling" comment be misinterpreted, he is simply emotionally immature, and his behavior hurts my family. I awoke to the confusion of awaking from a bad dream and realizing that it is over, and touched my fingers to my cheeks tenatively to feel the moisture of tears, which had spilled down my face, over my chin, and into the warmth of my neck. This dream had really affected me. I felt strange for days. I called my brother, with no response, as usual. I thought of him that morning as I ran errands and bought him a small gift. No response as of yet. I asked my parents about him about 6 times since then. I still feel like something is wrong.

Last night, perhaps in relation to the post I had written about my current overwhelmed response to weddings in general, I had a wedding dream. My mom had talked me into getting married sooner, in her backyard. I was getting ready at her neighbor's house and waiting for my best friends to get there. I was nervous and upset at the short amount of time I had to get ready and they were late due to the seriously short notice I had given them. I was excited, also, until i put on my dress. It was in the state it was when last I saw it--as of yet un-altered. My dress' neckline is low and I am in the process of having it raised to become more "appropriate" and in my dream I am wearing a tank top under the dress. A tank top under a Monique Lhuillier. I am also wearing a bra with straps. I guess in my dream I didn't have time to grab the bag containing the special, and appropriate undergarments I have already purchased. My friends burst into the room and begin to help me, and I instantly regret everything. My beautiful dress is wrinkly and the tank top looks terrible and I become hysterically upset and angry at my mother (remember she made me do this--why I have no idea). I suddenly can't believe that I chose a backyard over a venue or a church. The officiant comes in (who for some reason is dressed like the Pope) and sees me in my hysterical state. He asks me if I am having cold feet, and I look him in the eye and shout, not about the marriage, about the WEDDING! This is terrible! I wake up.
Is it the pressure my mom is placing on me right now? The ideas she is forcing on me that I do not like? Is my subconscious trying to tell me that the long engagement was a good idea to prevent the stress I experienced in this dream? before I chose my wonderful venue I had dreams about the venue my mom wanted me to choose and its lack of a real aisle. i guess I dreamed of this dramatic entrance to the wedding and so this venue didn't have enough "drama." In the dream, I would be excited and about to walk down the aisle, and then instantly panic that the guests would see me walking to the aisle and it wouldn't be dramatic and that is just "wasn't right." What's next?

Later that night I had a dream of being trapped in an elevator which is tipping sideways inside of the elevator shaft and no one knows how to get me out. I am calling 911 and getting through, but the operator tells me calmly that she doesn't know how to help me, and to just stay calm. For what?! Just as i fear the elevator is going to turn completely sideways and plummet down the shaft, a crowbar comes bursting into the compartment, rips a hole in the side wall, and I am lifted out by my dad, along with my brother and other people that I recognize as my dad's employees. I have no idea what that one means.