New Beginnings, a.k.a. what you can and can not change

I just realized that my last post was my first of 2008. I do not usually make a big deal of New Years or the changing of the calendar, I don't normally do any of the ritualistic "firsts" and "lasts"--I find them depressing. But this year has been a little different and a little more challenging.

2007 (that's last year for those of you who are still behind) began with bright hopes for the future. I had recently gotten engaged and had set a wedding date, and I was excited for the rush of the holiday season to pass and for the exciting ventures ahead. I planned an engagement party and picked a venue, the proverbial ball was rolling. We had chosen our time, the time that was right for us, to make this sacred and most important commitment. We were surrounded by friends and family that, for the most part, were not only happy, they were overjoyed for us. Then Josh's cousin got engaged, then his sister, best friend, and two other friends. They all planned weddings during the early to mid parts of 2008. They all planned weddings before ours. Now it has begun to seem trite and predictable, and I worry that people will be sick of weddings by the time ours rolls around, the moment that we planned with purpose and intention. But, I must accept what I cannot change. They might be sick of weddings, but then they can go home and leave us to celebrate. The commitment is about the two of us and our families.

2008 started with a snore, as I was sick and Josh stayed in with me and we were sleeping over the midnight hour. Then we were off to Montana and I told myself that when we returned home, dieting would commence. I am not one to put off the onset of a diet, but dieting on vacation is silly. I must say that through the holidays, knowing that this diet was in my future kept me from taking extra helpings and more than my share of cookies. So, two weeks into my diet I am happy to report that the upper area of my stomach is beautifully defined and you can barely pinch the skin. I feel really validated for getting up at 5:30 and jogging before work, rationing myself to six small meals a day, counting out crackers so I do not exceed my serving. However, and I know it's only been two weeks, but still--my lower stomach does not look any different. It is not smaller, it is no where near the point where definition would show up, and it doesn't feel any better. And that is how I manage my weight loss, I do not weigh myself because to me, the number means very little. I like to judge how I look and feel, how my clothes fit. I don't expect to look like Brooke Burke overnight, but come on! A little help here! And that is when I must accept what I cannot change. That is just how my body looks at its best. And my best is all I can do. In a society where a size six is viewed as "thick" you can't blame me for wanting more, but I need to be happy with what I do have.

So I continue on my new "healthy" beginning, hoping for a seamless 2008, despite my attendance at 5 weddings and their accompanying parties as well as my own.

And hey, maybe high-waisted pants really will come back in style. And when they do, I'll be looking great in them!