Getting there...

I may not ever reach "there." 

Perhaps we need to strive, continually, in order to have some sort of motivation. Personally, I've always just wanted to find out what "there" is, and then be there. Not knowing what I want to do with my life has been an endless frustration in getting "there." How will I know, if I don't even know what that place looks like?

For now, I am focusing on what I do know. And I know that I am proud of my first photo session for Korey Elizabeth Photography (which I may refer to as KEP--hey I work with engineers and we make acronyms for everything!) I feel positive that I could do something I love, if only part-time.  As for the rest? I'll figure it out, one day at a time.

Oh, after I plan myself a 25th birthday party and paint my nails...I'm getting there...

:)

Falling short of my goals

So I did not get out and take portraits this weekend. I did practice with my camera on plants and my dog, but no portraits. Why? Well, life got in the way, again, in the pesky way it has of messing things up. I just didn't have time. Honestly.

I did, however, set up to take senior portraits of a beautiful set of redheaded twins...

Nightmares and Panic

Something is missing.

I have felt off for days.

The nightmares have gotten...inconvenient, to say the least. As I lay in bed this morning, heart pounding at the memories of my latest nightmare (it involved me throwing a drink on a man who said I was stupid, then trying to peel out in my old Montero, which stalled, oh--and I witnessed a stabbing). What is the point of all of this?

I also woke up in the middle of the night in a panic that I had forgotten to do something at work. The pressure, which I so skillfully avoid in my waking life, has been catching up with me in my sleep. I tried to will the bad thoughts from my mind, and they stuck, returning again and again as soon as I closed my eyes.

Today, I made a decision. I am getting outside and getting some shots with my camera tomorrow. I am going to return to my idea of starting a photography side business, but no weddings, simply portraits. Specifically families and children. Tomorrow. I am going to shoot in manual raw and edit them on Sunday. I am going to photograph my cousins and see if any of my aunts' friends are interested in having portraits taken. If I ever make money at this, I am going to buy the lens and flash that I have decided will be all I need for quite a while.

*Editor's note: My plan, if developed fully, somewhat murkily revolves around doing this full time and "quitting my day job" for a much less stressful life...but I have a feeling that's not going to go over well with the Mr.

:)